Other people have said this better than me but I want to collate those responses here because this still happens all the time and it’s always irritating.
Despite being a relatively small issue, this one’s important to me. Hopefully I’ll explain why and what you can do to address it too.
An (imperfect) example that fellow nerds will be very familiar with is:
To boldly go where no-one has gone before
You’ll recognise that as part of the Star Trek: The Next Generation opening credits. In a previous iteration, it went thus:
To boldly go where no man has gone before
Split infinitive pedantry aside (you’re wrong, anyway), unfortunately this change was less about including women and more about including non-human species, but, hey. Take what you can get.
There are far more examples, though, and since whenever we discuss this some men will tend to get very angry, let’s look at it in a bit more detail.
The same people
Who say “Stop whining, women have it worse elsewhere”
Are the same people
Who say “HOW DARE YOU
I have struggled.”
Not like millions have.
We are privileged
We can improve
These are not mutually exclusive things.
How I wish we could stop suggesting men should be “gentlemen”.
Wait, wouldn’t it be great if we all taught boys gentlemanly ways, and we returned to a time of walking canes and hats (admittedly cool things)?
The problem is with imposing what you want to do (or think you should do) on women, rather than listening to what they want or what makes them comfortable; with taking their discomfort, however they express it, as a personal insult instead of a reason/request to behave differently.
Because the dance of the gentleman and the lady is outdated, sexist, and ignores the fact that we’re all individual people with different personalities and backgrounds and needs.
I know I haven’t written a thing for ages but I felt the need to lay this one out in more than a Storify because… does anyone actually read them?
But here are my favourites:
- Pockets! They’re sexist. How much stuff have you broken?
- Trump, misogynists, ‘gamerg*te’, white supremacists – a weird web of misery
The Storify topics are just 2 examples of sexism – quite far apart on the scale as it goes – but another huge one is rumbling along, the Google memo. Cue a bunch of guys coming forward to defend him because really, female inferiority is just science, right?!? Continue reading
It might be a glaring omission that I haven’t written about this yet.
Honestly it’s because I couldn’t. I and many others were repeatedly reduced to tears by this; we didn’t think it was possible. We couldn’t believe we even got to the point where the question was asked.
But then, of the (still depressingly few) people who bothered to get out and vote, a slight majority decided our European identity was disposable. Or, indeed, that we never had one in the first place. Continue reading
This comes up a lot. Other people have written insightful things about it, so I linked them in a Storify, which now lives here.
As background, my profile became quite long and specific over the years I hopped on and off OKCupid. It contained web links. Someone took issue with one of them…