Skinny bitch

In our culture, we’re all taught that the shape of our body really matters.

Two separate issues

It starts early. I remember complaining to my mum that my thighs were fat, when I was about 8 years old. How absurd (because they weren’t, and what a ridiculous thing for a child to be worrying about), when I look back, but I remember how I felt at the time and it was serious. It’s a pretty constant battle for most women trying not to scrutinise our bodies day after day – this obsession can form the basis of debilitating illnesses.

Childhood obesity is also of course a real problem – that parents cannot afford or do not have sufficient education to feed their children healthy food that doesn’t put their lives at risk is a tragedy, and a huge challenge for public health measures to tackle. It’s important for us to maintain a healthy weight for a variety of reasons; it lessens the risk of heart disease and cancer for starters. We all want our friends and families to be happy and well, so if people are trying to lose weight or bulk up to address this, great.

But there’s a difference between weight-related concerns that focus on health and another category of scrutiny; one that is far more shallow, cultural and full of underlying hatred and insecurity. People (and I cannot exclude myself) make negative comments on other people’s bodies all the time. We’re taught that it’s OK, that it’s our business, it’s just humour, and so on.

The ugly side

The women’s magazines (and the men’s for that matter), just about everything on television, the tabloids and many of the people we interact with daily – they all think it’s acceptable, appropriate, or even some sort of duty, to monitor fluctuations in how fat people are, or are not. I won’t get into the issues around having babies and what the media does with that, it’s a bit of a separate topic.

My problem I suppose is the kind of language that surrounds all of this. “You’re so skinny, you bitch“ - it comes from a variety of people, people who are close and loving, people who are acquaintances and really have no right to comment. It’s seems to be based on the idea that it’s so important for women to fit their bodies into acceptable forms, and what this does to us – whether we realise it or not – concerns me. Obviously men face these things, too – “fat-shaming” is not exclusively directed towards women.

A particularly high-profile and shocking case of it has occurred this week and came from Abercrombie and Fitch. As most of us are aware, the USA’s obesity rates are shockingly high, and most shops will stock American sizes 0-14 and sometimes above. A&F, however, are very unlikely to do so, as Robin Lewis revealed of their CEO:

“He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people… He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’”

So apparently you have to be thin to be hot and cool - oxymoronic vocabulary quirks aside, I’m sure most people would disagree with that. Personal tastes are one thing (I am attracted to people of a similar slim build to myself, for example – and I have friends with exclusive preferences for bigger builds) but they vary hugely between individuals, and one cannot criticise anyone else for that. But this retail policy from a company CEO does sound prejudiced and extremely insulting.

On the other hand, they are a company and are permitted to choose their audience and which kinds of customers they want their products marketed towards. If you specifically choose some subjective categories like “good-looking” and include “thin” within the entry criteria to that category… well, it’s offensive. Is it wrong? I’d say it’s ill-advised, much like I dislike sexist marketing for MAN CRISPS. Is it worse, or not, than that?

Fighting the tide

As I grew up I heard my dad call Lisa Riley on You’ve Been Framed a “fat cow” and say she should get off the TV as a result. Or he’d say “your fat friend…” instead of using their name (partly because he didn’t know it, but that always upset me). It’s easy for those of us who can maintain a low body weight relatively easily to point at and accuse people who cannot, but it would be nice if there were some more consideration around.

Going back to the health issue, a lot of conditions can cause people to become overweight, or to have extreme weight fluctuations. Medications can affect this, too; whether it’s a kind of birth control or steroids… how would you feel if that person whose weight you just criticised were undergoing cancer treatment? Sure, we make our little in-jokes quietly to ourselves and each other, but like street harrassment this too often spills over into unwanted and upsetting interactions.

Women with large breasts face an added level of this, with barrages of comments ranging from what people mistakenly think are compliments  to accusations of being too slutty by showing a lot of cleavage (often something that’s difficult for such women to avoid without always wearing some variation of a sack) and an assumption that they should be grateful for what they are “endowed” with.

This is a sad state of affairs for many reasons. For starters, no woman should be judged on the size of her bust; with “flat” chests in my family it’s something I’ve seen the flip-side of, too, and have even received such comments myself (somewhat in error!!) based on strange men deciding it’s something worth using as an insult when I didn’t want to talk to them on a dating site.

As someone pointed out on Twitter this morning, one of many problems with Page 3 is that it perpetuates an idea about breasts, aspirations and attractiveness, which can be really damaging. Mastectomy is tough enough to deal with, without a daily reminder that women are only (desirable) women when they have (big) boobs. While the debate on page 3 is extensive and multi-faceted, if you do want to sign the petition against it, it’s here.

In addition to that, larger ladies have a lot to contend with: health issues such as back pain and possibly breast cancer risk; the inability to find clothes that fit, not to mention them actually being affordable.

All angles

But it’s not just fat-shaming. A friend who deals with multiple health conditions posted the picture on the right this morning and sparked a little debate around it (which prompted me to write this).

I’m also reminded of the Beautiful South‘s song, Perfect 10 (that I alternate between enjoying and not):

The anorexic chicks, the model 6
They don’t hold no weight with me
Well 8 or 9, well that’s just fine
But I like to hold something I can see

I have trouble saying that this is any more acceptable than unsolicited comments towards overweight people instructing them to eat less or run more. It’s a song, sure, and it’s about a couple of big people enjoying each other, but for some reason that strays into insulting others.

Women are often swept along by the misogynistic undercurrent and say incredibly horrible things about other women, as well as judging themselves harshly. I put on weight in my late teens and I lost it in my early 20s, partly due to illness. The amount of comments I have received on this over time is only now beginning to overwhelm me, and when this picture came up suddenly a number of instances came to mind.

I wish my friends, or their friends whom I barely know, didn’t feel the need to call me a bitch for getting back to my normal weight – I’m a small person. I feel more comfortable in myself having lost the excess. But it wasn’t exactly fun getting to that point – as is the case for many people, I’m sure. I didn’t do it for anyone else, or to spite anyone, either. I don’t want to feel like I should apologise just because I fit into something, or it’s too big for me. Being ‘skinny’ shouldn’t be the ultimate goal of all women*, and we shouldn’t be at each other’s throats about it.

When I was eating dangerously little and people kept telling me “Hey, you look great!”, that didn’t exactly spur me on to healthier behaviour. Weight loss and gain is a complicated seesaw and you’re unlikely to know the facts behind it for people you don’t know very well.  It’s also never about one person, or one comment; It’s the frequency and ubiquitous nature of it. Just like one guy inappropriately touching you in a whole lifetime would make no difference, it’s the constant barrage of little things that turn it into a problem.

No stone unturned

Too fat, too thin, ‘real woman’ this, curves or bones that – it seems no one is immune.

*I haven’t touched on fad diets, why I hate gyms or pretty much anything regarding the health & fitness industry. But this article just appeared in my timeline courtesy of a couple of excellent friends, so you can read that for some great commentary on how women in politics are described, some links to what I’ve written above and the writer’s experience of finding a job in fitness. One of the take-home messages being:

“I wonder how my life would have been different if people had encouraged girls (me) to be strong instead of skinny”

And wondering what we can do for our young women today, to spare them some of this crap we’ve grown up with and are now trying to get over!!

“I became a more capable, energetic, independent, and mentally focused person once my focus shifted from what my body  looks like to what my body can do“

Battling sexism

Recently there have been yet more stories centred around sexism and misogyny in our culture. I’d like to discuss two that have interested me this week.

At least they got the apostrophes right..? Via guardian.co.uk

A battle won

Today, thankfully, there has been some Good News! A rarity, it sometimes seems, and something to be celebrated. Congratulations to the Science Museum and everyone who spoke up about Boots separating their children’s toys by gender, and including the sciencey ones only in the boys’ section.

Other retailers have binned this outdated, damaging stereotyping behaviour so, while it’s unfortunate that it’s taken a company like Boots so long, it’s good to see them following suit.

“…It’s clear we have got this signage wrong, and we’re taking immediate steps to remove it from store.” – Boots

Yes, it’s wrong. I’ve said so before and will continue to be angered by needless gender separations in stores for e.g. toys and magazines.

It may well be a bit of a chicken and egg situation. So they say they organised it with the separation because of “customer feedback” – parents want to find toys for their boy/girl easily? They can’t just browse a toys section and pick out something they’d like?

photo by Andrew Holding

To be honest, that sounds like it’s parental stereotyping at work. I’m not going to buy dolls for my boys or cars for my girls, that wouldn’t be right. Well, parents, I implore you – consider your child as a person, irrespective of their genitals/chromosomes, and encourage them in what they enjoy, what they find fascinating, whether you think it’s “gender-appropriate” or not. Be better.

Unfortunately there are other stores – such as Morrisons and Clarks (see image) – who continue to separate toys like this, and it’s frustrating for some parents. Read more in this article by Andrew Holding.

Edit: I have also contacted Wilkinson regarding their toy section that I spotted in Stratford recently. Through this I have discovered this excellent Twitter account, LetToysBeToys! They even have a petition.

A new conflict

You may also have heard that the Bank of England is suggesting that Churchill replace Elizabeth Fry on our £5 notes, which would likely come into effect in a few years, in 2016. This would leave no women on our banknotes. If you really think people are so stupid that you have to point out that the Queen is a woman, you are entirely missing the point. If I must explain, the figures on our notes (apart from the current monarch) are there because of their achievements; their contributions to society and UK progress. Not because they were born into a royal family. So be quiet.

At first glance, this might not seem like the worst thing. The figures on our bank notes change periodically, when we have to redesign the notes to counter fraud. Elizabeth Fry has been on £5 notes since 2002, and we had Florence Nightingale on £10 notes from 1975 to 1994. But they are the only two women, and replacing Fry will erase all acknowledgment of female achievement from our notes for some time – unless one of the others is redesigned with a new female figure at the same time.

Today’s BBC Radio 4 Woman’s Hour episode included a discussion on the banknotes decision (8 mins long in the link). Plenty of female candidates were pointed out; that most won’t have heard of many of them, despite their amazing work (for example, Beatrice Webb, economist and co-founder of the LSE), is surely reason to increase visibility of forgotten female influences in our history.

Wut about the menz?

I do not accept the argument that history has recorded men as the winners, therefore we should accurately represent that. Here and now we are trying to create a more equal society (well, some of us are) and part of that is doing what we can to correct the mistakes of the past. Acknowledge that sexism and misogyny are alive and well, and used to be even worse – so let’s pull the suppressed achievements of women out of the dark and show them to people living and growing up now. Similar instances of just that include the edit-a-thons in which people have dedicated time to editing pages to give due credit to women, for example in the history of science.

This is important for young women (and men) – to realise that gender is not a barrier to achievement, despite what the history books may show. These little sexist acts build up, and while lacking female role models on banknotes may be a little thing in isolation, it’s one of many that add together to give young people the message that women are underachieving and undeserving of recognition.

I do not agree that striving to have at least one woman on our notes, giving some small recognition to the contributions of approximately half of the population that have been systematically erased, is overcompensating or being unfair to men. Striving for something closer to equality instead of extreme (pro-male) bias, whether that bias be “historically-accurate” or not, is not overcompensating, only pushing for equality. That’s feminism, it’s not asking for no men to be recognised, only to make a positive change that will address an imbalance.

Aside from the gender balance issue, there are other reasons we might object to putting Churchill in particular on our notes (thanks to Liz for pointing that one out).

This will depend on your view of what our currency is for. If you think it’s simply a leaf out of the history books, then this is unlikely to bother you.  The Guardian have picked up on the story and are running a poll. If, however, you would like to object to the removal of all female achievers from our bank notes, you can sign the petition. Also follow @weekwoman and @TheWomensRoomUK on Twitter for more.

Edit: spectacularly on-topic and brilliant is Suzanne Moore’s article today about successful women eschewing feminism as if they don’t need it and never benefited from it. I have had direct experience of this kind of sentiment and am very glad someone has hit the nail on the head with a piece like this.

Another edit: I have also had a rant about the banknotes on this week’s Pod Delusion. Indeed, it is worth acknowledging that Clydesdale bank do in fact have two women on their banknotes; Mary Slessor on the £10 note (bit of a double-edged sword; women’s rights yay! Christianity-spreading boo) and Elsie Inglis on the £50 note – an excellent physician and suffragist.

LGBT+

I don’t know why I suddenly started thinking about this (and asking Twitter about it) today. But I did, and the conversation was quite good, so I wanted to write a post. It’s kind of about labels and acronyms and diversity and inclusivity and other things – choice, importantly. A bit of privilege. All those words that crop up a lot when you move in “liberal” kinds of circles. And like thinking about issues. Also I propose a competition! Read on…

For the uninitiated, if you have no idea what I’m banging on about and need some definitions, I wrote a Background section at the end for you – if you’re open to learning something today, that is.

So, somehow there began a tendency to define some sexualities and gender identities (I find it interesting that the two seem to go hand-in-hand still, despite the increasingly clear message that one need not follow the other) and lump those definitions together in acronyms/initialisms. I don’t profess to know why that happened, but I have some of my own thoughts on a) why people choose to identify with certain labels and b) how that can be useful to them.

Acronyms & Initialisms

I asked Twitter for people’s thoughts on the use of “LGBT” vs. longer versions like “LGBTQQIAA” – lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual and allies – if you’re wondering. Again, skip to the end for more on the details of those labels.

Obviously the longer version is quite unwieldy, perhaps not easily remembered and sends a lot of people into a strange rage because they don’t know what you’re talking about (ask?) or have for some reason turned into an Express reader who’s annoyed about the “PC brigade”. Apparently an option growing in popularity is GSM (gender & sexuality minority).

For me, the lengthier initialism (which could be even longer, actually) proves a point in itself; there are so many types of people (when we’re concentrating on gender identity and sexuality alone) that the use of such categories begins to lose meaning once you open your mind to that fact.

The longer version also introduces the people who do decide to ask to previously unknown concepts. In our conversation yesterday at least 3 people replied asking about the 5 letters at the end. Education is generally the first step in promoting understanding and tolerance, so surely that’s a good thing?

I really enjoyed having the discussion. I think it’s a good way to increase awareness, the capacity for welcoming environments, and helping people to feel comfortable in explaining their own views and stories, with the result of, hopefully, reducing prejudice and discrimination.

For funsies, here are some christian folks freaking out about all these heathens, because it will obviously end up with human-animal partnerships and worse (however, skipping to the end of that post, noting that the writer is an attorney is less amusing).

A competition

Given acronyms tend to work better, being pronouncable words, can you come up with some using some or all the letters? To choose from you could have any or all of the above plus some extra Bs and Gs (bigender, genderqueer/genderfuck etc.), P (pansexual), particles (and, in, for etc.), bits of words (e.g. Bi) and anything else you can justifiably think of.

To kick off, there’s a (fairly well-known?) one that was sent to me by @bishtraining: QUILTBAG.

And that one’s for Queer, Questioning, Unidentified, Intersex, Lesbian, Transgender, Bisexual, Asexual, Allied, Gay and Genderqueer.

Gender And Sexual Minority And Noble-minded People In Solidarity and Support: GASMANPISS, simple. – @jonny_boy27

Please post your acronym suggestions (serious or otherwise) and what they stand for in the comments below! Personally I think I’ll stick with LGBT+ for now.

Conversations

I’ll just put some thoughts forward as prompted by people’s tweets from here on, and if you’ve something to add about any of the points, again please do add it in the comments below!

I think it’s more helpful to embrace people as individuals. We won’t have true equality until we stop having to fit an “identity” - @DPWF0

While I agree it’s ideal to just take people for who they are, each separately, it’s also the case that lots of people like to have an identity. We all do, and how we define ourselves comes in different forms. People can and will choose labels for themselves. They could be hobbies, jobs, nationality/ethnicity, religion, sporting allegiances, even disabilities… subscribing to these kinds of cultural communities can offer people support. We often like to share experiences. Birds of a feather.

Martin had some objections to the ever-expanding initialism usage, specifically that it’s chiefly defining a ‘majority’ (cis heterosexuals).

But does such a majority even exist? What is it? Are there really so many 100% cis hetero people around? We both suspect that a lot of people, given a different environment (i.e. one that’s more aware of these issues and tolerant of the spectra involved), would be less inclined to so rigidly pigeonhole themselves into what is traditionally the ‘normal’ category (obviously I strongly object to the use of normal in this kind of discussion).

However, it seems to be quite likely that cis & hetero is at least for now the most common “skin to be in” and we may as well assume so until we have evidence to the contrary. Which perhaps makes the shorter xyz minority initialisms preferable.

Everyone but..?

Perhaps we’re reaching that almost ideal situation where it’s so uncommon to be bigoted about these things that it’s no longer necessary to define as “other”, because having a problem with something you don’t need to have a problem with is actually the most notable characteristic. The ideal situation obviously being a zero-bigotry one.

can that not just be reduced to “everyone but the bigots”… I take some issue with people rejecting labels because “we are all individuals” who have the luxury of rejecting them. – @endless_psych

Absolutely agree with this – it’s good if you say ‘differences are irrelevant to me’ – you are confident in yourself and other people’s choices, you probably treat people well as a result. It’s always nice when people can ‘come out’ to their friends about things and get a mildly surprised (or not) reaction coupled with not caring. It’s nice to know your friends well, and sexuality may or may not be a part of that, but it being unimportant is often a relief, given what some people have to go through.

But not everyone has the luxury of finding differences irrelevant; people facing discrimination, isolation, rejection and hatred have the ‘relevance’ of their difference pointed out to them in horrible ways. Identifying the bigotry, what it’s targeted at and why it’s unacceptable is important.

Activism

It’s all very well saying “we’re all human/people” but not everyone believes human rights are universal, still, and if we’re to continue pushing for their application to everyone, groups who face injustice need to be able to campaign on specific issues. Otherwise nothing would ever change. Having a banner to unite under can help to bring about changes for the better for specific groups, via increasing recognition:

esp if that recognition is bound up with state support and sciences e.g. The #Transdocfail tweets – @drdaveobrien

An article here on what that hashtag revealed, although not news to some.

Invisibility is a problem for minorities that is caused not just by the majority but also other minority groups. I’ve written about bi-erasure coming from the gay/lesbian community previously. By denying someone’s claims about their own identity, you are only serving to support any discrimination they face, and in no way helping their struggle – which may be very similar to your own.

I think one reason for the expansion of the acronym is the inevitable failure of labels… To define a ‘Lesbian and Gay’ society, other groups become more visible by their absence. - @anandamide

Which fits perfectly with an article I read the other day about some universities in the USA and their student groups, from the POV of Stephen, who identifies as queer.

All of this finally led me to reading a bit about “intersectionality“, a word that’s been doing the rounds lately because of certain incidents. Sociology of the day!

Worries

I don’t think I agree with these concerns really, but I see where they’re coming from, and again am interested in others’ views. Regarding the longer initialism:

It’s unwieldy and few will ever know what it means. As EP said, it’s everyone but bigots. I’m sure it has it’s uses somewhere … Just not sure it’s ever going to be useful in combating prejudice in the wider public. - @frozenwarning

I’d go as far as to say that the increasingly complex ‘in-group’ language risks alienating the public… The easier it is to screw up by not knowing the right terms, the less well-meaning people will want to speak. - @mjrobbins

Again, please chip in below.

Some background

When it comes to sexuality, the world is clearly not only populated by heterosexuals (people who are attracted to people who identify as a different gender from themselves), whatever some conservative/religious types would like to believe. There you have your L for lesbian and G for gay – the homosexuals, or people who are attracted to people who identify as the same gender as they do. Most people are now familiar with these labels, and most are fine with it – but not all, there’s still nasty homophobic prejudice floating around.

For your B, the bisexuals; those attracted both to people who identify as the same gender as they do, and to those whose gender identity is different from theirs. A little more complicated, as the inadequacy of the gender binary means this doesn’t have to just include cisgender individuals, it could include trans* peeps too – some may therefore choose to identify as pansexual or omnisexual – though these don’t come into the main initialisms discussed here.

As for the T, that’ll be trans. Generally shortened to trans* now, because there’s a lot more to gender even than is widely thought at the moment. See here, but there’s also plenty of disagreement about it, and this post discusses that. Gender is a simple concept for a lot of people, as that’s how we’re taught, usually, growing up. Man/woman, male/female. But that’s not always adequate. Sometimes people’s bodies don’t match the gender they feel they are, if indeed they choose to acknowledge gender at all – most of us are lucky and things mostly match up, and there’s a term for that: cisgender (or cis for short). For those whose gender identity and physical gender are at odds to some degree, we can say transgender (from the Latin cis- prefix meaning on the same side, and trans- meaning on the opposite side. [Bio]Chemists will be familiar with these).

Moving on, there’s Queer – the old insult that has been reclaimed for people who prefer a less restrictive label but wish to identify with an “atypical” sexuality/gender ID group. Questioning has a variety of definitions; unsure, actively looking for something to settle on, or rejecting available options. Intersex is anyone whose genitalia are ambiguous to whatever degree; neither fully ‘male’ nor ‘female’, which is more common than often thought (unfortunately these people are subject to genital mutilation without their consent, which can have terrible consequences). Asexual is what it says on the tin – it’s perfectly valid for people to be uninterested in sex. This is often derided and pathologised, including by some in the so-called sex positive community, which is irritating.

Allies, finally, being anyone who is willing to fight against discrimination based on any of these things.

Edit: here’s a good video about it from a while back

Finland

More like WINland!! Sorry, I’ll get my coat. Which is nice and dry in this fantastic heated cupboard near the door.

By some weird and wonderful twists of fate from Summer/Autumn 2012 I ended up travelling to Finland in December for a New Year holiday. Quite out of the blue, and, for me, scary, I wanted to go for the company, a chance to do something unusual (New Year celebrations are almost always a huge anticlimax, I find) and to see a new and exciting place.

As I’ve said (now several times) before, I’m not well-travelled and I get really anxious when big trips are coming up, especially if they involve flights. Fortunately, not a single thing went wrong on this one! So hopefully I’ll be less worried next time. One flight-related amazing thing was that Norwegian now has Wi-Fi in-flight!! Internets on the plane! It’s the future.

Holiday!!

So, upon landing in Oulu to meet new friends on Boxing Day, the first thing to notice is that there’s snow everywhere! Which is brilliant, I love snow, and we don’t get nearly enough of it here in the south of England. Snow is one of the few things that still brings a childish kind of joy to me. Still, after two flights and an early morning, that was not the time for messing about in it.

The next day we started our road trip up to Levi, a resort up in the Arctic circle in Lapland, where we’d rented a Levikarpalo cabin (pictured on the site!). As I said, loads of snow around, so at first it was a bit scary being driven around on a layer of the stuff, but after a while it was fine, even going at full pelt up the motorway when you couldn’t see the lines and only little red poles sticking out of the side verge told you where the ditch started.

Stopping for lunch was fun, Prisma has a most excellent logo! I don’t usually eat fast food but being hungry and on holiday I went for a ryebread-encased treat in Hesburger. I liked it so much I had a similar thing on the way back. Good job they don’t do them here, I’d get fat.

I noticed a couple of things on the trip, aside from generally marvelling at all the snowy pretties. The houses, where there were any in their little clusters, have ladders up to the rooves so the snow can be cleared to stop them caving in.

There were also very nice, tasteful christmas lights here and there in a tree, bush or around a window – usually all in each string of one colour, often blue, white, red or green, and sparingly. The effect with all the snow around was lovely; a refreshing change from the glaring, tacky stuff we tend to see here.

Upon arrival, just after driving through the nearest town Kittilä, we were greeted with the lovely sight of the Levi world cup slope all lit up in the dark. Very festive and magical and exciting.

Based on the pictures and description of the cabin, we were expecting our bit to be quite small. On the contrary, we spent a while just running around it generally going “squeeee!” because it was really big and shiny, particularly with the shower room/sauna, kitchen and comfy lounge.

Now, one of the best ways to chill out has to be getting naked to shower with some people you just met the previous evening/that morning, then sitting around chatting in the sauna. We even went outside in our towels and one of them rolled in the snow – I wasn’t quite that brave, but we ran back inside to warm up again and all was well. Time for celebratory bubbles!

Snowshoes

On our first day we went to hire snowshoes and took the gondola up the hill (to the right of the slope in the picture above) and had a trek around. My hand nearly fell off from the cold but I had to take pictures because it was an amazing landscape up there. So many layers of snow covering the ground, the trees, the ski lifts and powerlines and cabins.

Our mapbearer led us to one cabin that really just looked like an iced cake even upon closer inspection. But off came the snowhoes, we went inside and… a fire! Lovely. Picnic stuff was unpacked, sausages for warming over the fire (with the toasting forks dangling around the sides of the room) and hot juice from the thermos.

All over the wooden walls people had scribbled their names, dates, relationships 4 eva and so on with charcoal. After that nice interlude, we started to make our way down the mountain. Eek!

The moon was an amazing shade of red as the sun set (probably at about 3pm, having come up around 10:30). We trudged down, I wondered how much snow there actually was, as I saw the tops of trees poking out sometimes and got a bit worried about sinking (which I did a bit once or twice).

Apart from getting very hot from all the layers and weird exertion, it was loads of fun, especially when trees decided to throw some more snow at us from above. I was glad to sit down in the bar afterwards though!

HUSKIES

Our host did a most excellent job of calling a husky park and negotiating a special trip for us; we were driven there, given a snowsuit, boots and gloves and had a fantastic outing feeling like it was just the 4 of us out there (with 1 sled between 2) – it may well have been.

My passenger/driver demonstrating the vehicle

The dogs were as noisy as I was expecting, they get so excited before running. After a slightly terrifying tutorial about how to stand, lean, break and switch drivers, we set off across the frozen lake covered in a thick layer of snow. It was at least -24°C that day and the cold air on the only part of my face that was exposed was indeed cold. The coldest it got the whole time we were there. It’s quite strange to feel your eyes getting covered in ice crystals as you breathe. But I grinned under my scarf thingy the entire time.

All we could hear was the sled going along and occasionally our snowmobile guide dude, who was blocking the other paths so the dogs took us the right way. They’re silent while they’re working. We swapped passenger/driver halfway around 3.5km out. The snowscape was quite surreal and amazing through the forest. 7km was the perfect time – enough to take it in and enjoy driving and riding, but not so much that we got bored or froze!

The lovely people then took us to a cabin where we got a sausage to cook and hot tea/coffee/juice options to warm up. The walls had memorabilia from their races and some old equipment like wooden snowshoes and skis. All very nice – then a lady came in and asked if we’d like to meet the puppies? YES!

I love dogs anyway so this was a highlight for me. The Alaskan malamutes were so sweet, long one of my favourite breeds anyway, I had a cuddle with one through the fence and it cuddled me right back. D’aww. Very well-timed as a coachload of tourists turned up just as we were leaving.

Festivities

Other fun stuff we got up to included going out for dinner; I had some king crab! Having watched documentaries about how they’re fished, I had to go for that, and it was indeed tasty. More of a Norway thing but hey – new foods. We were also treated to some elk stew by our excellent host, as her dad’s hunting party had recently got one and she brought some meat along. The salted salmon was also yummy. On New Year’s Eve we had raclette for dinner, which was fun.

We needed some good food after the day’s activities; I actually strapped myself to some skis and slid around for a bit; cross-country ones, that is. Knackering stuff! Much respect to my friends who enter into races on those things. Then 4 of us trekked up behind the cabin to a small hill, filled some black sacks with snow at the top and slid down it a few times. Obligatory snow-angel, flailing around in the white stuff, kicking trees and so on. Looking out the window now as it’s snowing in London a bit – not quite the same!!

To bring in 2013, obviously we had some alcohol – if you’re flagging a bit and it’s still early, try Bailey’s in your coffee. You could also add some Minttu, which is 50% and (obviously) minty. Very tasty! We also partook in the New Year tradition of molybdomancy, or Bleigiessen as I’m more familiar with it – you may be too if you’ve been to the Wellcome Trust building on Euston Road. We melted some metal horseshoes in a ladel and poured them into a bucket of water, then had a look to see what our ‘predictions’ were… I’ve decided mine looks like Schnappi, though I’m not sure what that means. Trip to Germany?

On the drive back we had to avoid some reindeer trotting along the road, I saw a guy ice fishing (was planning to have a go but they were charging for the lake nearest us and we had a drill but not rods, so meh!) and watched my fellow passengers sleep a lot.

Various observations

I loved how quiet everyone was! In a supermarket, out in the little market centre, on the bus – if people talked, they kept their voices down, no louder than necessary. An occasional child shouts to their group, but no unruly kids either. Perfect for me, I’m generally quiet and get quite pissed off with people shouting to their friend who’s right next to them!

We became fond of the Finnish mustard, it’s tasty. Also this juicey version of mulled wine called glögg. Even better with a splash of spiced rum added! It was also quite surprising to go from -24 to +1 in a couple of days, I expected it to be hoving around -20 the whole time. Oh and apologies to the Finns for our terrible singing – but it’s their fault for bringing SingStar…

Scandis really, really love the Moomins. And Angry Birds (as Rovio is a Finnish company). So lots of kids had Angry Birds-themed ski gear, and we spotted loads of Moomin jumpers in the airports. Partner who is something of a linguist was also surprised that Finnish does bear minimal resemblance to German and English sometimes, having anticipated understanding/connecting nothing at all!

Edit: Forgot a couple of things. Some of my friends complain about how fast I walk - well, you should try being there, they outran us!! It’s to keep warm, y’know. You should try it. Also, our radio station of choice was quite entertaining. A few blasts from the past, stuff like Maya – It’s All ‘Bout The Money (all ’bout the dumdumdududidum…).

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I’ve thought for a long time that I might like to retire to Canada or somewhere similarly chilly, and this holiday has certainly given me some proof to base that view on. Unfortunately we missed the northern lights this time, but that’s just a good reason to go back – hopefully to see some of Norway next time, and Sweden someday too

Card knocks

Good morning, everyone.

Yesterday, someone posted a photo on Twitter, which showed a card they’d found in a shop. A birthday card for a 13 year-old girl, supposedly. 

I sent the following complaint to Hallmark via their website, who appear to be affiliated with the company shown in the image, Arnold Barton (Emphasis and paragraphs added, since their contact box does not allow any formatting):

Dear Hallmark,

I am writing to complain about a card produced by Arnold Barton, which I understand is registered with Hallmark. The card is depicted here: http://t.co/JBxVOSsc and the text reads “You’re 13 today! If you had a rich boyfriend he’d give you diamonds and rubies. Well, maybe next year you will – when you’ve bigger boobies!”.

I hope I do not have to explain why this message is so offensive and damaging, but I will try to be brief. This card suggests that a young woman’s worth is in her body, that men should buy her things and that the size of her breasts will determine her success. This is such a horrible message to send to our young girls, and I am shocked that a company would produce this card, that shops would sell it and that people would buy it, if indeed they are. I would very much appreciate a response to this complaint.

Thank you.

We came to the conclusion that Hallmark was the way to go with respect to Arnold Barton products due to the information here, which showed the latter to be a dormant/non-trading company but registered at the Hallmark office.

Today comes this update from the Hallmark website (emphasis mine):

We know that some people have expressed concerns about a card, branded Arnold Barton, Co., sold recently in the United Kingdom. The message below is from Hallmark UK:

“This card was printed over 15 years ago by Arnold Barton before Hallmark UK acquired that brand. This card has not been reproduced since and we are surprised that a copy was still available for purchase in a retail store. We agree the card is not appropriate; we apologize on behalf of Arnold Barton and will do our best to track down any copies remaining in circulation.”

UPDATE 2 p.m. 12/7/2012

Following is an updated message from David Dean, managing director of Hambledon Studios, a subsidiary of Hallmark UK:

“This card was produced by Creative Publishing prior to Hallmark Cards acquiring the company in 1998. We are as surprised and horrified as anyone else to have discovered that there are still copies in circulation. The card has not been produced for over 15 years and would never pass our own strict guidelines of taste and appropriateness. We would like to assure all our customers that we will do everything in our power to track down remaining copies.”

Thank you, Mr Dean. So it seems Arnold Barton died a death (thankfully, coming out with that kind of product) and similar for Creative Publishing. What I do wonder, is how and why this card can still be found, 15 years after it was printed?? Surely shops have stock clear-outs periodically. Odd.

Let’s hope their new mission to “track down” the last of these cards is successful, and that no more little focus groups decide this is a good idea. Did these people not have daughters or sisters? Again, going back to an old post, it seems to be evidence of the huge disconnect a lot of people seem to employ when it comes to people they know and random women (or girls, even!) on the street.

Still, I happened to have been 13 in 1998. I would’ve found it offensive then, too, as would most of my peers, I’m sure. 15 years isn’t so long ago.

I’d be interested to know how many complaints they got – can’t beat a good bit of Twitter outrage sometime

Edit: HuffPo wrote about it too, but beware standard comments along the lines of “Oh stop being offended by everything”, “the ones about men are more degrading” and so on. Sigh.